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AL-ANON
BULLETIN BOARD, GREETINGS, and MEMBERS’ WRITINGS
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In 2013 we are focusing on TWELVE STEPS each month. You are welcome to share on ANY
topic at any time! |
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TWELVE
STEPS |
NEW:
Monthly Sharing’s on the TWELVE STEPS |
Sharings
on the Twelve Steps. |
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Sharings
on the Twelve Traditions. |
Sharings on
Gratitude |
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Greetings & Messages NEW |
Post greetings
and messages –congratulate a member on an anniversary, thank your sponsor or
another member, send a holiday greeting, or ??? |
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NEW |
For YOUR poetry, essays, or other forms of sharing –
please contact
us to contribute! |
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This web site is for YOU – District 5 members and members from around the world – and
we created this page as one way for YOU to share your experience, strength and
hope with other visitors to this site! The
bulletin board and area for sharing can be another way to facilitate a “loving
interchange of help among members.” You can share your writings,
ideas, thoughts, wisdom, humor, poetry, questions, sayings, gratitude, topics
for meetings, “learning experiences” you’ve had, congratulations to others, art
– anything Al-Anon related that you would like to share! To share on this page, please send us an e-mail at
afgdistrict5@gmail.com!
Please note that in keeping with
Al-Anon’s Traditions and
principles – we can not post messages or information about groups, programs or
enterprises other than Al-Anon, no
matter how worthwhile they may be. We can not post quotes or material from
literature that is not Al-Anon “conference approved”
literature. We can not post full names or personal contact information for you
or for others, so please include either your first name, first name/last
initial, or initials; or you may post as “anonymous” or with a non-identifying
nickname (e.g. “Serenity Sam.”)
You are
welcome to share your personal experiences and feelings related to
messages posted by others. Please consider
that in Al-Anon, we share our experience, strength and hope to help others and
ourselves; we do not provide direct advice to others, or tell another person
what to think, what to do or how to act. Please feel free to share things that
you have learned at meetings or from others – but please remember that personal
information and stories that you hear from others in meetings must not be
repeated outside of the meeting.
DISTRICT
5
Al-ANON BULLETIN BOARD
Please also check out our pages for sharings on the Al-Anon slogans, the Twelve Steps, the Twelve Traditions and
our Gratitude List page.
To share on this bulletin board, please e-mail us at afgdistrict5@gmail.com.
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Topic: |
ACCEPTANCE is
often the
answer to finding serenity. Would you please consider sharing YOUR experience
with “acceptance” – what does it mean to you, what Al-Anon tools help you to
accept things you can not change- please e-mail afgdistrict5@gmail.com
to send YOUR share about “acceptance!” |
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Date posted |
Messages on
“Acceptance” |
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12/22/12 09/05/08 |
Acceptance
is sometimes easy for me and sometimes very difficult. When I don't accept a
situation how it is or a person how they are, I end up trying to control or
change them, which never goes very well. When I do accept people, places and
situations how they are, I can enjoy everything more fully and stay in the
moment. Acceptance doesn't mean that I have to like everything or everyone,
just that I am remembering "it is what it is." This has especially
helped me with family situations. When I remember to accept my family exactly
how they are, whether or not they ever change, I am able to have a great time
with them. ~anonymous I came to Al-Anon hoping to change my
daughter’s behaviors. I wanted to find out how to get her clean
and sober, how to help her want to be the person she could be if drugs and
alcohol were not in the way. I did everything I could do to help her stay
clean after treatment, but she relapsed. She has been in and out of recovery.
She is currently in relapse, but she knows how and where to get help and I
have hope that she will keep making the effort for recovery. I also know
today that nothing I can do will “make” her stay clean and sober. I can
encourage her, believe in her, and love her, but pushing her, believing her
when she lies and tells me what I want to believe, and trying to make her do what I think will help her, will not help. Accepting my
daughter’s addiction and that I can not make her condition change is painful
and difficult but it’s reality, and it is necessary
for me to accept this reality for my own sanity and to be able to help my
daughter. I am afraid for her, but I also have hope. Acceptance of the
reality of my daughter’s addiction and its effects on her allows me to be
afraid without acting on my fears, which only makes things worse for all of
us. ~ Marty. |
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Topic: |
SPONSORSHIP! Share YOUR experience with sponsoring
others, being sponsored, what sponsorship means to you, tips for sponsoring
or being sponsored, or other ideas - please e-mail afgdistrict5@gmail.com
to send YOUR share about “sponsorship!” |
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Date posted |
Messages on
“Sponsorship” |
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02/09/13 07/21/08 |
Finding a sponsor
was something I didn't want to do right away, but was encouraged to do so a
few times, when I first started coming to meetings. This was definitely a
great suggestion and I'm glad I took it! I am very lucky to have a wonderful
sponsor who "has what I want," and is available if I call as well
as to meet up to talk about steps. Several times I've been upset about
situations beyond my control and her snips of wisdom from the program have
helped me get back on track. ~ anonymous The truth of the phrase: "You must give it away, to keep it" is very accurate when it comes to Sponsorship in Al-Anon from my personal experience. How can you gauge your rewards, while offering Experience, Strength and Hope to a newby in the Program? One very important piece of “giving it away” is taking TIME to answer questions, take a phone call and be a sounding board to those struggling to know if they indeed belong in Al-Anon. It has given me more exposure to study of Steps, Traditions, Concepts, Slogans and basics of Al-Anon. Also, introducing a relative newcomer to other literature than perhaps a Daily Reader, and studying it together benefits both of us!! Please consider stepping out of that Comfort Zone to support new members of the Al-Anon Fellowship. I've definitely received even more than I've given away, plus making another member feel even more welcome, while finding a better way of life. ~ M.S. |
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Topic: |
Progress Not Perfection - please e-mail afgdistrict5@gmail.com
to send YOUR share about “progress not perfection!” |
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Date posted |
Messages on
“Progress Not Perfection” |
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06/14/12 05/15/08 |
Progress, Not Perfection As a person who has constantly strived to be “perfect” since being a little girl, progress and not perfection has been a type of awakening for me. Through sharing at meetings, beginning to work through the steps, and in personal relationships, realizing that sharing imperfections does not mean abandonment has provided a huge sense of relief in my life. Remembering progress and not perfection allows me to have human flaws. I can remember now that old behaviors are hard to change, but I can change them if I work at it. I can remember that even if I take “two steps forward, one step back,” every minute is the beginning of a new 24 hours and I have another chance to act in a healthier way and treat others and myself the best I can. I can remember that who I am now is probably not who I will be in a year or even a week. I can celebrate small changes and accomplishments and know that if I keep coming back, more positive changes will come. I can accept myself. ~ Angela B., Ann Arbor, MI Progress
not perfection reminds me to try to be the best me I can be,
rather than to try to attain unrealistic goals or strive to fulfill an image
of what I imagine others may expect of me or of what I imagine “perfect”
would be like. “Progress” reminds me to take action, not to just wait and hope
for situations to improve but to actively work to make change happen. Not
perfection reminds me to practice acceptance, have realistic expectations,
and to keep trying to do the right things regardless of whether the outcome
is exactly what I wanted it to be. By practicing the Steps and principles of
the Al-Anon program, I make progress. Even if the progress is not always
consistent and never will be perfect, and even though there will always be
things I will never be able to change no matter how much I may want to change
them, I can make progress towards changing the things I can change and
towards being a better me. ~ Judy A.,
Plymouth, Michigan. |
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Topic: |
CHANGING
RESENTMENTS - Resentments can be tough to live with AND
tough to change – but the tools of Al-Anon can help! How have you dealt with
resentments - what has worked for you, what challenges have you found, what
difficulties are you working on? Please e-mail afgdistrict5@gmail.com
to send YOUR share about “changing resentments!” |
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Date posted |
Messages on
“Changing Resentments” |
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02/09/13 NEW 02/21/08 |
When
I work toward changing resentments toward others, I
have been suggested to pray for them, which has helped me. I also try to
remember the phrase "bless them, change me," as well as the fact
that "I'm not that different from them." Making a list of resentments
I'm holding and why has also helped me see if there is a pattern and what I
need to work on in myself. ~ anonymous. I came to Al-Anon deeply resenting that I
had been told to come to Al-Anon!
However, my son was in Dawn Farm treatment program and I felt I had
to cooperate with everything that was recommended in order to be able to help
my son recover from drug addiction. All I wanted was for my son to get clean
and sober. It took me weeks to be able to relax enough to really listen to
what was said at meetings. Eventually I started hearing that “detachment” was
not abandonment or lack of caring, that “letting go” was not giving up or
refusing to provide appropriate help at the right times, and that others in
Al-Anon deeply cared about their loved ones but had learned the differences
between what they could and could not change about the circumstances that led
them to Al-Anon. Detachment with love has helped me to accept the situation
as it is (my son is in relapse) without resentment, and to keep the doors
open while setting limits and not enabling his disease. I am grateful to
Al-Anon for helping me to love my son while hating what his disease does to
him, and for helping me to have hope for our future instead of despair over
the present. ~ M.W.; Ypsilanti, Michigan. |
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01/22/08 |
Here is how Al-Anon helps me to change resentments: - Working the Steps helps me identify
the resentments I have and their causes. It also helps me to identify how I respond
to things that cause me to have resentments, and what my role is. - I may not be able to change the
things I resent, but I can change my responses, and the Steps, slogans and
other program tools help me to respond with acceptance, love and forgiveness
to things I otherwise might feel resentful towards. - Al-Anon helps me to see that not
everything is about me, and to not take things personally. Resentments don’t
last as long or seem as bad when I realize things are not personal. ~ Amanda |
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01/22/08 |
Changing Resentments: I sometimes resent people who have what I want. I have problems with not wanting to let go of material possessions. I save way too much because I might need it later or it is too good to let go of. Three of my family members have no problem tossing out or passing on. I am working on letting a family member help me sort thru and pass on material items I can't let go of. Only because of Al-Anon am I even letting this person help me. ~ Mary |
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SERENITY -
please e-mail afgdistrict5@gmail.com
to send YOUR share about “serenity!” |
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Date posted |
Messages on
“Serenity” |
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11/06/12 |
Serenity: I
feel like I'm constantly praying and striving for serenity. When I think of
serenity for myself, I think of staying in the moment, enjoying the day, and
accepting myself and the world exactly as they are. It might not include an
overjoyed feeling of happiness, but a feeling of inner peace. Lately I have
felt this more and more often, and have been much more able to stay in the
day and accept my flaws. When I do these things, I can feel the serenity
around me. ~ Angela |
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11/01/07 |
Serenity: Serenity for
me is about feeling like I can deal with what happens. I may not be able to
make things go my way, but I will be able to make good decisions and cope
with the outcomes. Al-Anon helps me to have the tools to do this. Before, I
would expend all my energy trying to make things come out “right.” Today I
know that all I can do is do my best to do the right things; I have no
control over how those things will turn out. To me, serenity is truly about
accepting the things I can not change while having the courage to do the
right thing even when it’s hard to do. Sometimes this means taking action and
other times it means letting go. I make the best decision I can and feel OK
with that. To me that’s serenity. Thanks for letting me share. ~ Julie K. |
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“BAREFOOT”
TOPIC board – Please e-mail afgdistrict5@gmail.com
to share about YOUR topic! |
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Date posted |
Messages – this board is for YOUR topics! |
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MESSAGES:
CONGRATULATIONS, THANK-YOU’S, HOLIDAY GREETINGS, GET-WELL WISHES – and other messages from
Al-Anon members to/for other members! (Note: you can post a message or a card
– and we can help make a card on request.) – Please e-mail afgdistrict5@gmail.com
to have a card or greeting posted!
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Greetings and Messages |
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Date posted |
Greetings –
Messages will be posted below! |
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04/09/13 NEW |
I wanted to say thank you to the program for everything! I
have recently come out of a very rough patch in my life, and the women of the
program have been extremely supportive to me! Especially to the ones that I
call and talk to on a regular basis, thank you so much! Your support and
encouragement mean more than you could possibly know! Thank you so much for
your knowledge of the program and passing on what you have learned! I could
not have gotten through this without everyone's support and I am extremely
grateful!!!~ Anonymous |
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01/01/10 |
Happy New Year from District 5 Al-Anon – please
click here for a card from us to
you! |
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ARCHIVED MESSAGES |
Archived 2009 messages and
cards – please click here to read them! |
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Archived 2008 messages and
cards – please click here to read them! |
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Archived Winter 2007
Holiday cards from
District 5 and its members - please click here to read them! |
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WRITINGS, ART
and OTHER EXPRESSIONS by AL-ANON
MEMBERS
This area is for YOU to
share your original work – poetry, essays, photos, art or other forms of expression.
Serious or humorous, your expressions are welcome - please e-mail us at afgdistrict5@gmail.com
to contribute!
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Member’s writings |
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Date posted |
Writings |
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NEW 05/09/13 |
I grew up in a family with generations of addiction and emotional
insanity. As a child, I remember trying to function at school, but mostly
being preoccupied with what was going on at home. My family tried many
geographical moves. This, in addition to my parents being emotionally
unavailable, meant that I was very lonely. As the oldest child, I took on the
role of reading the emotions in the parents and trying to protect my
siblings. I left my own interests aside so much, in order to try to manage
abusive reactions, that when people at school would ask me what my favorite
possessions, movies, colors, or music were, I never had any answers. I
reasoned that I was just more of an emotions person than a materials person. Several relationships with sexually, emotionally, verbally abusive
addicts landed me in Al-Anon. I finally found fellowship and language to
explain the inherited reactions, emotional baggage, self-destructive
solutions to life on life's terms that I had learned. For a long time, I had
been taking care of other people like I had tried to protect my siblings and
take care of my parents as a child. I got a sponsor right away and called
every week, and attended meetings every week. Meetings that read
conference-approved literature and follow traditions and do not have
crosstalk are the most helpful. It is where I grow the fastest. Through program I have learned that there is no way I could have
behaved any differently before program. I learned to believe this lie
growing up: that self-destruction is the way to solve problems. All the
suicidal, addictive or unstable tendencies are different methods of trying to
solve problems this way. All my obsession with other
people's problems and trying to fix my alcoholic fiancé, and controlling
everyone at work is a way to sacrifice myself and throw effort, energy,
and arrogance into every situation to force a solution. Al-Anon
offers a different way to live, that I did not see before. I also learned
growing up how to focus on someone else so that I wouldn't feel my own pain.
Recently I realized that I still do this, despite attending Al-Anon. It's why
I need to keep coming back! In my relationship with my alcoholic, it is so
easy for me to always be thinking about his process, his recovery, his needs,
his feelings. For example, when he asks me where I want to go to dinner, I say
three options and let him pick. When he asks me what I want to do on Saturday
and I give an answer, if his face looks like he doesn't want to do that then
I backpedal and minimize my own wants, or feel guilty the whole time we are
doing what I suggested. This is not OK, and I cannot blame the alcoholic for
this. I am constantly refusing to see myself, have needs and feelings, have
preferences and inclinations, have likes and dislikes. This also means that I
am constantly refusing to accept my own pain, my own joy, my own Moment. I
need Al-Anon to do this! Program has offered me a new way to live
through positive action that can make my life more serene and fulfilling on
the inside. Every week I learn a new tool. I learn to take care of myself and
see myself, and my program friends encourage me and validate that this is a
good thing, not a selfish thing. New behaviors and choices feel strange,
uncomfortable, and scary, but every time I try them the results are so
positive that I keep believing that program logic
works, even though it contrasts so much with the family logic I grew up with
and with the logic my alcoholic throws at me every day. I have learned to
care for my body. I have learned to value sleep. I have learned to build and
protect safe spaces. I have learned to leave. I have learned how to stay. I
have learned to say No. I have learned to say Yes. I am starting now to
learn what music I like or what colors I don't like, what my preferences are
and how to verbalize them. I have learned to be responsible for my own
happiness and wellbeing. I have built a life that does not fall apart if
someone I love in my life falls apart. I have learned to love and detach, to
separate from my family and love them from a safe distance. I have learned
that my higher power can and will and wants to help me with everything from
what I eat for lunch to how I spend my money. I have learned that I can love without loss of self, and that I can give anything
over to my Higher Power to take care of that I cannot take care of myself.
Most importantly, I have learned to choose myself over choosing
people-pleasing situations or harmful interactions. I never have to sacrifice
myself again, for any reason. There is always a choice, there is always a way
out in program that preserves my safety, my dignity, my serenity. I have
learned that Emotional Recovery is way way way way more advanced that mere
Emotional Sobriety, and my life is rich and spiritually wealthy because I
adhere to a healthy, steady program. ~
Anonymous |
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NEW 05/03/13 |
Hi, I’m a grateful member of Al-Anon and ACA. I feel very lucky to be here! I grew up in
an alcoholic household and really, an alcoholic family, on both sides. I came to Al-Anon while trying to “improve”
a relationship. I had been meaning to
try it (but avoiding it) for a couple of years after reading an Adult
Children of Alcoholics book and finding out that pretty much the entire list
of traits applied to me. I resisted
coming, though, (and looking at my family as a group, as well as looking at myself);
until I thought that Al-Anon could help me improve this relationship. After various events and about a
year of coming to meetings, I was left with myself to look at. I had gone to ACA meetings a couple of
times as well, and always had the hardest time
sharing at these meetings (and I had a hard time sharing at any meeting for
several months). Both programs have helped me in so many ways. I definitely seem to apply things very
slowly, although things I hear and read have definitely sunk in. For me, behaviors I have learned and traits
I have are very engrained, so I have to use as many tools as possible to
start working on unlearning some behaviors that are counterproductive to my
life, and to decide how to handle character defects and whether they can be
turned into an asset or if they just have to go completely. I am still pretty much starting at this,
but I am excited to keep coming and learning new ways of handling situations
and to re-start the steps with a different perspective. I am very grateful to
have the support of several program members, whether it is answering phone
calls, emailing, texting, working on steps, or listening at meetings. I feel
like I am very new at actually working the program, even though I have been
listening and sharing for a while. I
am trying to really accept that I will need help with this for a long time
(and probably forever, and that is okay!).
I have learned that there are many solutions or ways to handle things,
and I can consider them before acting.
I have learned that recovery looks different for each person, and I
can choose the way that seems to make the most sense to me, and can change it
anytime. (This has been helpful when
deciding how to handle family situations; I still am involved with my family and
would like to keep my relationships with them, at least so far.) Even though I forget these things often, I
can call someone or go to a meeting and be reminded. J I
am very grateful to the program for everything and it has made a huge
difference in my life, in every area!
Thank you. ~ Anonymous |
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01/07/09 |
I’m Patty from Ann Arbor. Maybe we've met.
Maybe not. I go to a lot of Al-Anon meetings in Ann Arbor. I've
been attending since 2006. My New Year's resolution is to be
happy. That would involve knowing myself and what pleases me, and then
doing it, no matter what anyone else feels like doing. Putting the care
of me before others is hard to do. |
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11/19/07 |
A letter to my alcoholic Father – by Donna C ....
I wrote this
letter when I was 28 years old ... I am now 60 and I still read it and
understand the burdens we as alcoholic children endure. The pain never
goes away even after the person dies. The drink was so much a part of us
and our childhood that it is still part of you now ... (please
click here to continue
reading Donna’s letter and sharing!) |
To share on this bulletin board, please e-mail us at
afgdistrict5@gmail.com!
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